I once said, I will stop my academics for a year. That was only going to be after I finish college. My plan was to work and finally get out from under my parent’s wing. Then, I would go back to school in the city. However, my father did not agree with this plan. He made me an offer. He said, “Go get your Masters right after college and I will take care of all your expenses. I will also buy you a car. I said yes, not because I wanted a car or him still breaking his back at work to give me money. I said yes because the look on his face told me that that’s what he wanted to hear. I can’t really back down now, even though I am drained of long days of classes and nights of homework for the past four year in college, plus the other 13 years of the same routine (Kindergarten-High school). But I have to keep pushing because that is something that he wants for me and I can’t let him down.
If I had said no to his offer, he would have been “okay”. To explain better, it is like an exercise where we get partial credit for the effort but not the full credit because that was not their vision of what we should have done. This is because even if they support our decisions at the end, deep down they feel some type of way.
Sometimes we are pushed by our parents because they know better than to let us do things on our own, and they want what’s best for us. However, parents like my parents do not know the struggle of being a college student. That is unfortunate of course, but that it is a pressure that they put and we carry on our shoulders. Therefore, I wonder if they actually think about how we must feel with their constant intervention in our decisions as young adults.
I relate to the fact that we are our parents bridge. My mom does not really have much to say. She wants what’s best for me, but also whatever I want to do is okay with her. Disagreements come and go because the man of the house wants his wife to support his decisions. They fight and the fustration always lead me to ask them, “If ya can’t be together without fighting, why don’t ya get divorced already?” Sometimes is “we still love each other” other times, “it’s just a regular fight, not a big deal” but there is always that “it is also because we do not want our children to grow up without both parents”. We all know that their intentions are good, and I do not want to sound as an ungrateful child but I would like to know when is it that we will get to make our own decisions without worrying about the way our parents are going to feel.
I believe its never!
Att: A Tired College Student.