$uicideBoy$: my sister’s favorite music duo that I didn’t listen to until two years ago. Their music is loud and chaotic and deals with  a lot of depressing stuff; but those werent my real reasons for reluctance to listen. The issue was I was repressing a lot of internal anger and depression and identity discordance that their music intentionally confronts and discusses in poetic dialogues. Once I began listening to their music it became easier for me to acknowledge, embrace, and process the negative emotions bottled up by the “nice girl” personna I’d been associated with and in turn internalized. The first song of theirs I heard in full, the indocternating track that shifted my relationship with negatively charged emotions, was “Running through the 7th with my Whoadie“. For my sister’s last birthday my girlfriend made a birthday cake: iced with her favorite album cover and topped with paper album flags. This delicious and cool cake was made sublime by the culinary craft and love baked in, combined with our independent relations to the band and their music. During quarantine the three of us listened to them /every day/. This near religious practice became a survival tool for our sanity. This culmination of audible, edible, cultural, emotional,  visual, and written sensorial intersectionality serves as the inspiration for this poetic series.