Elmer Vasquez

Professor Rigolino

English 160

Section 7

13 September 2019

Layers of Identify

The languages that you speak play a role in the way you express yourself. It’s the way that humans communicate with each other, different communities speak different languages and it brings them closer. They identify with that aspect of themselves and seek comfort in those who share that in common with them. Having shared ancestral history is another way to connect with people. Meeting people of color wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t understand the things we have in common. Though if it wasn’t for my ability to speak Spanish, I don’t believe that I would identify with that aspect of my personality.

Born in the Dominican Republic, I moved to the Bronx at the age of 2 and later moved to Harlem. At the time I only spoke Spanish being that it was the only language I had been exposed to. Coming from the Dominican Republic and growing up in Harlem I began to learn what it meant to be an Afro-Latino. I remember getting dropped off at daycare because my mother had to work and not being able to communicate with any of the students. They would talk and it just sounded like gibberish to me, or if I did understand I had no idea how to respond. Even in elementary school, it was difficult getting along with the other children. I used to get into fights because I would see the children laughing at me but I wouldn’t know why. I never knew why they were so mean but I remember feeling like they were trying to bully me. When I finally made some friends the majority of them were native Spanish speakers just like me. We were all in English as a second language class together. A community was created of students who spoke Spanish so we all became friends. Even at an early age I discovered that language brings people together because as a child with no understanding of how the world works, I gravitated to people like me.

Being Dominican is something that I am very proud of, I wouldn’t want to be anything else, and while growing up in Harlem I was taught by everyone in my neighborhood to take pride in what it meant being Afro Latino, take pride in being a Man of color. “Black and proud “they would say. Spending time in Marcus Garvey Park, playing chess against the elderly men who hung out there, I learned a lot about the history of Harlem and Black people, and why I shouldn’t change who I am for anyone.

When I learned to read it wasn’t with Cat in the Hat instead, we read books relevant to our lives, like Tar Beach by Faith Ringgold, A chair for my mother by Vera Williams, and Big mama’s by Donald Crew. From an early age, I saw myself in literature and that played a role in my development over the years. My school teachers always exposed me to literature that would benefit me. One teacher recommended that I read Malcom X’s biography and it inspired me to further my knowledge about the layers of my identify. I began to look into the history of Dominican Republic, and found out that the island of Hispaniola was the first place to be colonized in the new world.

Though not everyone from bilingual family’s shares the experiences I do, some grew up like the author of “Se Habla Espanol” Tanya Barrientos. Living in the States it’s easy to want to change who you are to try and conform to society around you. I often see people from all around the world who don’t identify with their cultures and end up being a whitewash. They hate their cultures in hopes of being more like a group of society that will always see them for what they are. In Tanya’s essay she describes her childhood, and what she thought being Latina meant at

 

that age. Her experience was the complete opposite of mine.” I did not live in a neighborhood with other Latinos, and the public school I attended attracted very few. I saw the world through the clear, cruel vision of a child. To me, speaking Spanish translated into being poor. It meant waiting tables and cleaning hotel rooms. It meant being left off cheerleading squad and receiving a condescending smile from the guidance counselor when you said you planned on becoming a lawyer or a doctor”. The stereotypes of her culture, affected her perception of herself. Years went by and she realized the disconnect that existed between her and heritage, regretting it, she decided to teach herself the language. Tanya reminds me of the many people that I have met who don’t find comfort and balance within the layers of their personality. They grow up not speaking Spanish and don’t identify with that aspect of their personality. “The Spanish language was supposedly the glue that held the new Latino community together”

Speaking Spanish is what connects me to that side of myself, I believe that It molded my personality. Being able to connect to my country of birth means a lot in terms of identity. Knowing that I am Afro-Latino helps me understand who I am and gives me the reasoning to be great, to try and be something in life to better my community. Whether it the communities that I am apart of because I speak Spanish, or the ones that are because I am of African descent. I know that in both I am accepted and have nothing to worry about.

 

Bibliography:
Barrientos, Tanya Maria. “Se Habla Espanol.” The Norton Field Guide, 4th ed., edited by

Richard Bullock, W. W. Norton, 2017, pp. 645-648.