School began just last week and it is already extremely overwhelming. On my first day alone a student had a seizure, I have been placed in charge of busing the students in the afternoons (one student was left by a bus and another was on the wrong one), and I have also been assigned more lower-functioning classes than I had last year. I want to do so much with my students, but it is hard to believe I truly can with some of the student I work with when my largest concern is if they are going to have a seizure, eat the materials, or harm either themselves or others (including myself) in the classroom.

Oddly enough, last year, even as a first year teacher, was not nearly as overwhelming. I was never planning on staying at this school for long, but it honestly has crossed my mind to find other employment before the year is over. The more I read and learn in this program, the more I wish to be able to do more which, unfortunately, I really cannot do in the place I am now. I hate this feeling of giving up, but I also feel like I have to do what is best for me, both personally and career-wise to enable further growth as a teacher.

I anticipate this year having little personal time for myself as well. With waking up at 5:30 in the morning and not getting home until anytime from 5-6 at night, I’m both physically and mentally drained. Because of the stress I am under, in terms of my own studio research, I am seeking out art practices focused on simplicity and that can be relaxing through the process itself. Conceptually, I think the ideas of multiple perspectives and perceptions of the artwork are extremely interesting. Rather than just having one concrete understanding of the work, it would be nice to encourage diverse thinking and interpretation from viewers.