Adjusting to Change

As harsh as it sounds, no one will ever be able to truly prepare you for adjusting to change in your life. There are just words and encouragement that require all your effort in order to surpass any fears or worries about change. It is a constant thing that will only continue as you grow as a person. But why worry? Why constantly fear change that can make you a better person and allow you to expand as a human being? The truth is, as a people, we find comfort in staying at the same point in life. Everyone is guilty of wanting to remain at the same level but wishing to be more ambitious about the future. Change is normal and shouldn’t be avoided regardless of paranoia or comfort; it should be taken as an opportunity to enhance our lives and become the people we want to be. 

As mentioned before change happens all the time whether it be minor or major. But it is also difficult to initiate change within our lives because transitioning can be overwhelming to adjust to. Oftentimes, people will remain constant with their habits or mentalities because it is easier to stick to what we know. Accepting that everything must evolve into something more can require a person to let go of anything they hold onto so that the development can really occur in their lives. Changes like transitioning from one workplace to another or going to college etc. It can either benefit us or harm us, but we can not avoid it as humans are always learning to adjust to inevitable moments and are growing and learning from the past. It is easier for our bodies to avoid the stressors of different circumstances. During this time of comfort and staying in the same state in life, we can become accustomed to what we are used to. This can often set us back in life. In order to live to the fullest, you have to accept that life begins at the end of your comfort zone. The change will hit us with physical and emotional feelings and we will always learn from it.

From personal experience, there has always been a large roadblock preventing me from accepting the change I endured when transitioning from high school to college. The habits that were created while in high school couldn’t be the same in a big university. It is a completely different experience that every student has to go through but it can lead to great opportunities. Expanding our lives to opportunities like networking and creating friendships are often overlooked. 

Once senior year was coming to an end, there was a time when I became extremely fearful of what was to come in the future. I felt lost in my direction and it felt overwhelming to imagine what it would be like restarting in a brand-new environment. The feeling of being completely solo during college freaked me out, just like it would for any upcoming college freshman. But to add to my stressors, I had to move to another part of the state with my family. Completely separated from my hometown friends, I was left with no other choice but to connect with other students or I’d be alone. I spent countless hours dwelling on the fact that I have to break out of my shell and become this social butterfly. Let’s be real though, who wants to go their first year at college by themselves? I didn’t want to continue the cycle of missing out, especially during this time in my life. 

For anyone, going to a new school or moving from a new place is difficult, and for some, it could even be liberating to have a change in their lives but for me, it seemed like my world was falling apart. Growing up I lived in a strict household with many rules and at times it felt very controlling. I got used to the idea that I was gonna miss out on a lot of things my friends got to experience because of it. So when high school was coming to an end, I was very excited to go to college and begin this new journey with my friends.  It gave me the opportunity to be more independent and to make my own decisions. But that was taken away from me fast when I found out we were moving. The news was bittersweet as so many things rushed to my head. But actually acknowledging what was happening made me realize living in my small apt in Queens and going to my dream college in the city was almost too good to be true. I get asked often why I didn’t try harder to find a way to prevent myself from moving but I had to look at the bigger picture and a major component was adjusting to change in a positive way.

 I’ve never liked change, I never like adjusting to different things, and I completely avoided any chance of something new happening because I never thought of changing the ways that I was comfortable with. Voluntarily moving two hours away from my friends is something I wouldn’t do but if it meant my family would get amazing opportunities, I would make that sacrifice. So I did it, I accepted the new scenery, the new college, the new everything. Ive only been here about nine months and still, I struggle. I continuously have moments where I am so upset that I had to leave and moments where I say “This is why I don’t like change”. But each time teaches me a lesson that I constantly need to hear. As mentioned before change isn’t something that is going to be easy, there is no time frame for how long it will take to adjust. But with all efforts, it can get easier which is what I convince myself every time. 

Throughout life, everyone is put in situations where they have to break out of their shell and alter the habits they’ve grown used to. We all begin this at a young age, like when we start a new school every couple of years. Researchers express how young children are influenced by peer relations but not necessarily because of popularity but because we unintentionally admire those with higher self esteem(Roff 5). It’s normal to go through moments of shyness and avoid certain situations because of any type of fear. But living with that mentality prevents you from ever growing as a person. We unintentionally have moments where we compare ourselves to others because we want something different but it’s common to hold back from making any efforts to satisfy ourselves, even if it means changing anything, like habits. But it’s important to realize the impact change can have on someone even if it seems to be easy for someone else. 

As mentioned before, there have been studies regarding the way children have been forced to be put in situations where they have to adjust to the environment they are put in. Similarly to my experience moving away from home, everyone starting from a young age has been introduced to this when transitioning into different school environments. We are all told from a young age that we will meet new people everywhere we go and the only way to make any friends is to interact with others. But this can be seen as either a positive or negative way of enforcing change in our lives. When a child is entering a new school very young, they can almost easily create relationships with other children and have a sense of belonging in that environment. But when they are forced to enter another school, they have to readjust to make other relationships separate them from the ones they created previously. This can impact a child in a positive way because it is allowing them to expand and be more social. But in other ways, it can affect them negatively because when a person is forced to be in a situation they did not choose, they can act out, do poorly, or even be less social than before. Everyone can relate to being in a situation they did not want to be in and almost resented it. This just emphasized how change isn’t for everyone and can be a lot more difficult for one person than another because we all react differently even if it is something we either are used to or know will eventually happen. In your own life, you can imagine a moment where you were also put in this situation but conducted to various researchers, it is normal to see a change in a student because of the environment or change they are put through in a school setting. There is a consequence to it all which can lead to certain difficulties growing up, but as a society, we have to be able to educate ourselves on how to change for the better and to use the experiences we have to better ourselves when they happen again. 

It is easy to be put in a position to adjust out of our comfort and with plenty of experience first hand it is very difficult to accept it for what it is. But living with the mentality that you can grow as a person using these changes to better yourself and learn more about what you are capable of, you can see that it can bring much more to your life than remaining in the same position. Change is inevitable regardless if we avoid it as much as we can. In some way, you will have to change for something, for someone, and for yourself. Allowing yourself to use it for good and using what we have all had to learn growing up, can be as easy as everyone else makes it seem. 

 

Work Cited

Roff, M., Golden, M. M., & Sells, S. B. (1972). Social Adjustment and personality development in children by Merrill Roff, S.B. Sells and Mary M. Golden. University of Minnesota Press.