I had an Uncle Charlie, he is since passed on. One of his many accomplishments, besides being a scientist, art collector and dealer in France, was his astounding ability to discuss art. Uncle Charlie was a talented pianist, printmaker and also an expert on Chinese Art.  I came across a handwritten card I received from him after my graduation…. The message he delivered to me is as follows,
Before the dawn of history, according to popular Chinese legend, was an enormous egg. One day the egg split open; its upper half became the sky, its lower half the earth, and from it emerged P’an Ku, primordial man. Every day he grew ten feet taller, the sky ten feet higher, the earth ten feet thicker. After eighteen thousand years, P’an Ku died. His head split and became the sun and moon, while his blood filled the rivers and seas. His hair became the forests and meadows, his perspiration the rain, his breath the wind, his voice the thunder- and his fleas our ancestors. A people’s legends of its origins generally give a clue as to what they think is most important. This legend expresses a typically Chinese viewpoint – namely that man is not the culminating achievement of creation, bit only a relatively insignificant part of the scheme of things. Never not lose sight of yourself, persevere, and create….
As an artist I have kept these words close to my heart, they almost serve a beacon of light to continue going when I feel like true surrender. Sometimes when I feel like I’ve lost, whatever endeavor at life I am struggling through, I take out his card and read. My Uncle loved me and also cherished my work, we shared a close bond and connected so deeply through our love for art. He served as a truthful companion for most of my adolescent life, most honest and always willing to critique my work and provide valuable feedback.  Since his death  I have yet to find a trusted companion to evaluate my work.
While reading this article I can identify to author Lamott in  a sense that she describes writing as seeing three feet ahead of yourself. The artistic process is similar. Countless times, I have become frustrated, angry, stressed out and overwhelmed trying to complete a piece of art. Often, I have begun painting a  piece and it becomes to transform, metamorphose into something completely different than I originally planned.
She describes the power of being cheerful – art is like a desperate end. Take it day by day, bird by bird…. As her brother did.
This was a reflective piece to read, I have formed new thoughts, questions and ideas after reading. Do we take ourselves too seriously with life, or as artists, educators? I think I most certainly too. Lamott suggest the difficulty when we seek out honest, and people in our lives to validate our works, ourselves even? Was Uncle Charlie a crutch for me to depend on, did he give me most honest opinions? Without him however, I have never thought about asking anyone to survey my work. As Lamott states, “Few writers know really know what they are doing until they’ve done it.” This is true of my art.. Sometimes my emotion drives me to just create, my mood often dictates the end result. Lamot is most certainly accurate when she states that the right words ( in  my case, drawings, art…) do not just pour out natural and fluid. “Shitty first drafts” are similar to my preliminary planning I do in my sketchbooks…
Truth is in fact a hard apple to throw and also to catch.