Ava Blatz                                                                             Proposal and Annotated Bibliography

 

Having a significant other relationship can be very fulfilling and beneficial, however, it is not necessary to have a successful life. In fact, society tends to put too much pressure on people to find a spouse, which makes people get into relationships that they may not be ready for. The spouse relationship is far overvalued in our society, which plays in part to the reason that so many people are unhappy in their relationships. People become far too fixed on finding a significant other, that it can make them lose touch within themselves.  The solution to this issue is for people to work on themselves before getting into any serious romantic relationship.

 

The reasons to why significant other’s relationships are overvalued in society can be supported by many different types of ideas. For one, marriage has been valued for years. This goes for many cultures. I am going to support this claim by using “Marriage” by Raymond Apple, which discusses the tradition of marriage in Jewish Culture, as an example.  Society puts pressure on young adults to marry and have a family to feel that they have been successful. For example, a woman who is single and focusing on her career is seen as less fulfilled than a married woman with kids. The same ideology goes for single mothers and fathers. They are seen as people who are struggling, and society looks down upon them. Examples of this are shown in “Women and Revolution: a Discussion of the Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism” by Lydia Sargent. Of course, there is nothing wrong with getting married and having kids, but it is simply not meant for everyone. Another issue with this pressure is that it can cause people to lose touch with themselves and get into or stay in unhealthy relationships. Not everybody is mentally mature enough to be in a relationship. For example, if someone is insecure with themselves, they may take it out on their partner, and act jealous or bitter. The same goes for people struggling with their mental health. For example, if two people are married or dating, and one of them is severely undiagnosed depressed and the other is unhappy in the relationship, the unhappy one may not leave the relationship out of fear that their partner will harm themselves. This is why it is extremely important for people to be in touch with their emotions, and work on themselves and love themselves before loving a partner. This idea can be proven in “Does Marriage Make People Happy, or Do Happy People Get Married?” by Alois Stutzer and Bruno S. Frey.

I think this issue can also be linked to mental illness awareness, and the fear of realizing you might need some help. No one should be ashamed of bettering themselves and making themselves feel good. People need to have a good relationship with themselves before they can be in a healthy relationship with other people. Lastly, I am going to discuss other fulfilling relationships, such as friendships, by using “Friendship is Romance” by Alok.

 

 

Annotated Bibliography

 

Alok. (2020, January 04). Friendship is romance. Retrieved February 03, 2021, from https://www.alokvmenon.com/blog/2017/2/15/friendship-is-romance

In this short poem, the author discusses the way that society deems romantic relationships as more important than friendships. She proposes the idea that friendships should be romantic, and that people should not be seen as less than others if they do not have a spouse, because friendships are just as important as sexual relationships. The author wants a world where friendships are valued more, and where people are not seen as immature for having friends instead of a significant other. In all, the author wants to redefine relationships and break the traditional mold.

 

 

Apple, Raymond, et al. “Marriage.” Encyclopaedia Judaica, edited by Michael Berenbaum and     Fred Skolnik, 2nd ed., vol. 13, Macmillan Reference USA, 2007, pp. 563-574. Gale eBooks, link.gale.com/apps/doc/CX2587513338/GVRL?u=newpaltz&sid=GVRL&xid=446d7cbf. Accessed 17 Feb. 2021.

https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/CX2587513338/GVRL?u=newpaltz&sid=GVRL&xid=446d7cbf

 

The author writes about marriage in a traditional way. He separates his information with different subheadings and passages about the tradition of marriage in the bible, in traditional Jewish culture, and in secular culture. Although he mainly focuses on Jewish culture, this piece is interesting because it gives a perspective on marriage by using quotes from religious texts. It allows for the readers who are not Jewish to see the evidence as to why marriage is so important in Jewish culture and relates to other religions view on marriage. I chose this because even though I am Catholic and know how the Catholic church views marriage, I wanted to see how other religions and secular groups view it, and how they relate.

 

 

 

Maclachlan, Alice. “Feminist Perspectives on Reproduction and the Family.” Philosophy: Feminism, edited by Carol Hay, Macmillan Reference USA, 2017, pp. 317-343. Macmillan Interdisciplinary Handbooks. Gale eBooks, link.gale.com/apps/doc/CX3659400025/GVRL?u=newpaltz&sid=GVRL&xid=51be6e0e. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

 

The author discusses the typical family mold and stereotype, by connecting its roots to history. She talks about feminism and how the family patriarchy has been affecting women for years. Most importantly, she views the family structure and duties as political. She states that whatever is going on in society affects the family life. This would explain why people, especially women, feel a lot of pressure to get married and be in a relationship. She also discusses how even divorce is politically, because it is economic and very expensive, which explains why so many people stay in unhealthy relationships.

 

Sargent, Lydia. Women and Revolution : a Discussion of the Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism / Edited by Lydia Sargent. South End Press, 1981.

https://suny-new.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/permalink/01SUNY_NEW/5celm9/alma990000938700204844

” unhappy marriage”

 

This article by Lydia Sargent discusses feminism and how it can coexist with Marxism. It talks about the patriarchal society we live in and how so many women are unhappy in their marriages. It talks about how in history, men having all the power defies both feminism and Marxist ideologies, and how both feminists and Marxists can work together to defeat the patriarchy. The author also discusses how both ideologies are generally viewed only in their extremes, which is why many people do not support them. In all, she talks about breaking the mold and traditions that tend to bind women down.