(critique on Camille’s) I could relate to this so much, not just because I’m also from Long Island, but because I, too, had a frustrating high school career. The way this was written really felt like you were just writing down your thoughts and I appreciate that because writing should be more about what we’re exactly thinking at the moment without fleshing it out and trying to make it complex. There were a few run-on sentences that could’ve used a comma but other than that I really liked this.
(critique on Madison’s) I really enjoyed reading this draft and the sense of fear it placed in me. I felt like I was with the little girl at the circus and I felt everything she was feeling, too. The description really immersed me in the experience, however there are a few misspellings of words that I would correct as well as making the ending a bit more original (idk if that’s the correct word to use) and describe your overcome of fear a bit more, but other than that this was a great experience and I really liked this draft so far.