Reflections

 

One never truly thinks about the subconscious consequences of social media. The stereotypes found in movies, that do not hold an ounce of truth, have weaseled their way into the hallways of schools, comment sections of media, and the topic of discussion.

From a young age, I was always drawn to sports. Whenever I had the chance, I would throw the football and baseball, and did not once think about how the games I loved were considered “masculine”. Some of my fondest childhood memories are the ones I spent playing outside. The crisp autumn air and the crunch of the leaves beneath my feet as I ran around the yard are core memories of my childhood.  

One day, I was sitting in the living room with my sister watching a movie. This event was a routine and took place every Friday night. It was my sister’s turn to pick the movie, and like any sibling, I despised her choice, but watched the movie anyway. In the movie, there was a character who played the tomboy role. While I recognized my similarities with the character, our shared love for sports, the outdoors, and sneakers, it never occurred to me that girls who liked sports would not wear traditional girly clothes and play girly games. The upbeat music and laughter of the characters was a distraction from the ugly message that lies beneath. As the credits rolled and the screen turned dark there sat an image of me in the reflection, almost like a mirror reflecting my image back. I sat there on the living room carpet puzzled because I enjoyed doing a variety of activities and was not so concerned with the stereotypes attached to them. Over time, this stereotype manifested into something greater than a thought. The stereotype and societal construct led me to believe that due to my interests, I could only play the tomboy role in my own life. 

All throughout elementary and middle school I detested all things that were not sporty and tomboyish. I hardly ever wore a dress, only for very special events. I vividly remember being so adamant to not wear shoes with a heel. I am grateful that my parents gave me the choice to dress in what I wanted to. The tomboy stereotype became my security blanket. However, this blanket was suffocating me. I began to stereotype myself into the role and shy away from things that did not follow along with it. 

As we grow older, we find paths that make us who we are. In an effort to find my niche, I used my security blanket to help guide me. Stereotypes have such a hold on us because as we grow we are pushed into and cycled through them, but when we try to escape we become trapped like a fly in a spider web. After I became entangled, the stereotypes I created for myself were reinforced by the media and films. The outside influence on my stereotype reinforced the idea of how I should look or dress. It made me not want to change due to the fact that within that stereotype I could have a place in society. While looking back, I feel upset and can see how blinded I was by this stereotype. I now wish that I could tell my younger self that just because I liked certain things, I did not have to play a role in society’s play. 

In high school, the fear and worry of fitting in was not new to me; it was like an old toxic friend. The relationship had been built over years and was truly hard to step away from. It was hard to change my mindset after years of stereotyping myself into one category. However, I began to see that there was really no choice that I had to make and that any interest I had was mine to explore. It was all just a stereotype that I had been sucked into. The fall of my freshman year was when my mentality was shifted. I was excited to go dress shopping with all of my friends for a dress. For the first time in a long time I was genuinely excited to go, and while walking around the store I felt the weight of my security blanket be lifted off my shoulders.

Breaking free from society’s harsh stereotypes is easier said than done. These stereotypes are not always in plain sight; they are often lurking in your subconscious controlling how you feel. Ask yourself these questions: Why should someone else’s opinion control your life? Each person is unique in their own way, so how could anyone fit into a tiny labeled box? Individuals are so complex and cannot be narrowed down into one role.