Chloe Weir

English 160-09

Prof. Wozencraft

Narrative Essay

Sept. 19th

Narrative Essay 

    Imagine you’re in the mall and it’s crowded up ahead. Build a bear you are thinking, let me ask my mom if I can get the cool one. You turn around and she is gone. Immediately you are sick and hot with panic you don’t know where she is or which way to walk should you just stay still. Then you hear her and you remember to breathe. It’s going to be ok. Well this is how I think my great grandmother feels every moment of her life now. It’s very heartbreaking to think you can’t help the one you love. 

   My great grandma was always very sweet, loving, and fun. She taught us how to play cards and the Newfie game she was very serious about those cards you had to play them right. I can smell all the food she cooked when we would come for the weekend. She had to make a Thanksgiving-sized meal every time. She made brownies and pies. You could smell the weekend’s dessert when you walked in the door. Thanksgiving was always my favorite because she would always be so excited for banoffee pie. She would never miss it.

   Now that you know a little about how it was you might understand why it’s really really hard for me to accept the way it is now. She was diagnosed with severe dementia two years ago and when I say it went from almost zero to a hundred I’m not exaggerating. She just woke up one day and did not know where she was. For a little while she knew our names but eventually she has forgotten each and everyone of us. It was so scary how fast it went it was like we had no time and neither did she. She felt like a stranger in her own home. Night time was the worst. She would get so anxious we would have to get her to go to bed because she would talk about how she wants to go home when we were already home. I feel bad that there isn’t much we can do to help her other than tell her stories about her life and maybe she’ll remember. 

   What breaks my heart the most is not that she can’t remember our names or birthdays anymore but how it must feel to be trapped in a world alone and confused. People say all the time she is 97 years old and she lived a good life. I know she lived a good life but she can’t remember it so what good is it really? This is probably the worst thing you can see a family member suffer with. Most other things you see coming or it happens instantly but dementia takes your mind, body and soul in a very slow or extremely fast process. It’s scarier than most because you can’t see it coming and you can’t really prepare until it’s already here. 

   The body is a very interesting thing. How can I know so much but also nothing at all? How come I cannot remember where my house is that I’ve lived in my whole life? How come even my closest family members look like strangers to me? Dementia really takes a toll on not only the patient but the patient’s family members as well. They sit there and have to constantly remind them that they are in a safe space and that they can trust us but they don’t seem to believe us most of the time. Imagine being in their shoes and seeing the same face everyday and everyday you forget who it is or remember but just cant put your finger on it. Memory is a very important part of life and to go through all of that just to get it taken away by some disease. 

   My grandma is one of the strongest people i know even with her dementia she is cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, and walking up and downstairs. She never remembers where she is but she never fails to try and help someone or make someone smile. She would always look at the bright side even if it was pitch black outside raining she would find the good in it. I hope to be just as strong and courageous as her when I grow up. Nothing makes me happier than to see her smile even if she doesn’t remember me.