How does Technology Affect Dating?
Audience: Single People
While at first glance, technology in a relationship may not seem like it would be helpful but there are more pros than cons when it comes to the impact that it may have on dating. In a world where technology is everywhere, it is hard to have aspects of one’s life unaffected by technology, especially romantic aspects. Technology has improved the dating scene from helping make stronger connections to even making it safer for LGBTQA+ adults to online date.
For young adults and college students, technology makes it easier to find and connect with somebody. There are so many apps where the sole purpose is to meet people. For some it’s hard to get out and meet someone but with everything at our fingertips, finding someone isn’t so hard anymore. Technology gives one the confidence one might not have when approaching someone in public. There are so many apps available to us to help find dates; Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Match, and so many more. It’s true that there is a stigma attached to dating apps like Tinder where for college students its less about long term dating and more jumping from relationship to relationship but according to The New York Times, “Though college is often depicted as a place of sexual exploration, and dating apps seem to encourage passing from one relationship to another, my generation defies that.” (Proulx) Hearing about
couples that I know who met through a dating app really make me happy. Sometimes I am surprised because I hear how long they have been together. I really agree that my “generation defies that.” (Proulx). Especially in this pandemic crazy world, it’s harder than ever to meet someone but with technology it makes things easier and safer. Some Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid allow users to show their vaccination status which can really help users feel safe when they meet.
Technology can also help those who are in long distance relationships. With technology like facetime and social media, it’s like a step closer to being with your partner. Long distance can be hard on a couple, especially college couples. When you’re young and still trying to assimilate to new experiences and environments, it’s hard when you don’t have your partner right next to you for support. Video chatting apps like Facetime and Skype can make that easier. Although one may say that Facetime is specific to Apple products, which is true, a recent update has made it where you can create a facetime link to share with any device you want thus making facetime available to everyone. Video chatting has such a positive impact on a relationship because it helps create an environment where you and your partner feel like you are in the same room while being far away from each other. There are so many things you could do to make it more than facetime as well. One of my favorites is watching a show together but you can also do work together, have meals together, play games together, or even just talk about your day. In an article called “Its Complicated: The Facetime Relationship” author oh_kate says:
In many ways, FaceTime made our relationship so much more fulfilling. It also made it possible for us to get to know one another on a deeper level. We didn’t just hear each other; we saw each other. We received visual signals of happiness, anger and sorrow. We could sit in silence but still connect. We became more real to one another. (It’s complicated)
This connection is important for long-distance relationships. That distance in a relationship, especially if it’s a young relationship, can leave the partners feeling insecure about how one another feels but by being able to connect like this and to be able to connect on deeper levels can really strengthen a relationship.
Technology can also help young people in the LGBTQA+ community. Imagine you are in a town where you feel as if you cannot be yourself without being judged or harassed. Technology can fix that. Dating apps like the ones I have mentioned can help bring together young LGBTQA+ adults together. According to an article on Progress,
And dating app Tinder—which has millions of users in more than 190 countries—recently introduced functionality that prevents the profiles of those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer or transgender from appearing when the user arrives in a nation where same-sex relationships or acts are still criminalized, in an effort to deter harassment or worse. (Pierce)
Dating apps like Tinder are trying to make the dating pool a safer place for young queer adults. Apps like Grindr and Her are specifically for young queer adults, making the dating scene easier while also making it easier to connect and be yourself. In a world where discrimination is at every turn for those in the LGBTQA+ community, there should not be any discrimination when it comes to dating. Apps are taking this into account to make the dating world a safer place. After the infamous and devastating violence at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, hate and negativity is on another level and even the small steps like scoping out violent neighborhoods are progressing in the right direction.
Although there are many pros to how technology can affect dating there are cons as well. Technology can cause distractions within you and your partner. With the whole world of internet in your pocket it can be easy for one to be distracted but it can bring you closer at the same time. Couples can surf the internet together and bond over similar interests or even discover new things about one another. Social media can also be a distraction, but it can also be a form of connection, “Use technology to connect. In obvious ways like calling or texting but in other ways too – comment on their posts online or in person later (let them know you are paying attention to them and care about what they are interested in). (Hall) Today a big part of our online presence is our social media profiles and what we choose to put out into the world. By commenting or acknowledging on one another’s posts, it shows you care about them and deepens your connection with your partner. With the use of technology, there is more room for jealousy within relationships but a good tip to avoid this comes from Dr. Elizabeth Dorance Hall, “Integrate the various forms of technology you use so that communication flows from one mode to the next. If there is a certain technology that causes conflict due to miscommunication or jealousy, avoid using that mode to communicate with one another.” (Hall) Jealousy and miscommunication can pop up in any form of relationship but there are ways to avoid it. It’s important to be able to communicate with your partner and clear up any confusions and misunderstandings. With technology where you can meet face to face without being in the same room, it makes it easier to communicate those worries and feelings.
Technology has without a doubt changed the dating game, but it has left a positive impact. It has made it easier, especially for those in a long-distance relationship. There are cons that come with it, as does everything, but the pros weigh out the cons. In a world where technology is most of what we know, it’s in our power to use it to embrace our lives.
Works Cited
Proulx, Natalie. “How Do You Think Technology Affects Dating?” The New York Times, 21 Feb. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/02/21/learning/how-do-you-think-technology-affects-dating.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Flearning-student-opinion.
Oh_Kate. “It’s Complicated: The FaceTime Relationship – Oh_kate.” Medium, 9 Apr. 2019, medium.com/@kburce/its-complicated-the-facetime-relationship-a060d5796c03?p=a060d5796c03.
Pierce, Dave. “5 Ways Technology Has Positively Impacted the LGBTQ+ Community.” Progress Blogs, 14 June 2021, www.progress.com/blogs/5-ways-technology-has-positively-impacted-the-lgbtq-community.
Hall, Elizabeth. “Using Communication Technology to Improve Relationships.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 29 August 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/201808/using-communication-technology-improve-relationships.