How Does Technology Affect Dating?
Audience: Single People
How many couples do you know who met online or through a dating app? While at first glance, technology in a relationship may not seem like it would be helpful, but there are more pros than cons when it comes to the impact that it may have on dating. In a world where technology is everywhere, it is hard to have aspects of one’s life unaffected by technology, especially romantic aspects. Technology has improved the dating scene from helping make stronger connections to even making it safer for LGBTQIA+ adults to online date.
For young adults and college students, technology makes it easier to find and connect with somebody. There are so many apps where the sole purpose is to meet people. For some it’s hard to get out and meet someone, but with everything at our fingertips, finding someone isn’t so hard anymore. Technology gives one the confidence one might not have when approaching someone in public. There are so many apps available to us to help find dates, like Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Match, and so many more. It’s true that there is a stigma attached to dating apps like Tinder where for college students it’s less about long-term dating and more about jumping from relationship to relationship, but according to The New York Times, “Though college is often depicted as a place of sexual exploration, and dating apps seem to encourage passing from one relationship to another, my generation defies that” (Proulx). Hearing about couples that I know who have met through a dating app makes me happy. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised because I hear how long they have been together after meeting through dating apps. In this crazy world, it is harder than ever to meet someone, especially with an ongoing pandemic, but technology makes it easier and safer. Some dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid even allow users to show their vaccination status, which can help users feel safe when they meet.
Technology can also help those who are in long distance relationships. With technology like Facetime and social media, it is like a step closer to being with your partner. Long distance can be hard on a couple, especially college couples. When you are young and still trying to assimilate to new experiences and environments, it is hard when you do not have your partner right next to you for support. Video chatting apps like Facetime and Skype can make that easier. Although one may say that Facetime is specific to Apple products, which is true, a recent update has made it where you can create a Facetime link to share with any device you want, thus making Facetime available to everyone. There is also Skype and Zoom which anyone can use. Video chatting has such a positive impact on a relationship because it helps create an environment where you and your partner feel like you are in the same room while being far away from each other. There are so many activities you could do to make facetime more enjoyable. One of my favorites is watching a show together, but you could also do work together, have meals together, play games together, or even just talk about your day. In an article called “It’s Complicated: The Facetime Relationship,” author Oh_Kate says:
“In many ways, FaceTime made our relationship so much more fulfilling. It also made it possible for us to get to know one another on a deeper level. We didn’t just hear each other; we saw each other. We received visual signals of happiness, anger and sorrow. We could sit in silence but still connect. We became more real to one another” (“It’s Complicated”). This connection is important for long-distance relationships. That distance in a relationship, especially if it is a young relationship, can leave the partners feeling insecure about how one another feels, but by being able to connect like this can really strengthen a relationship.
Technology can also help young people in the LGBTQIA+ community. Imagine you are in a town where you feel as if you cannot be yourself without being judged or harassed. Technology can fix that. Dating apps like the ones I have mentioned can help bring together young LGBTQIA+ adults. Not only do these dating apps bring people together, but they also bring people together in a safe way. According to an article on Progress,
. . . Tinder—which has millions of users in more than 190 countries—recently introduced functionality that prevents the profiles of those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer or transgender from appearing when the user arrives in a nation where same-sex relationships or acts are still criminalized, in an effort to deter harassment or worse. (Pierce)
Dating apps like Tinder are trying to make the dating pool a safer place for young queer adults. Apps like Grindr and Her are specifically for young queer adults, making the dating scene easier while also making it easier to connect and be yourself. In a world where discrimination is at every turn for those in the LGBTQIA+ community, there should not be any discrimination when it comes to dating. Apps are taking this into account to make the dating world a safer place. After the infamous and devastating violence at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, hate and negativity is on another level and even small steps like scoping out violent neighborhoods are progressing in the right direction.
Although there are many advantages to how technology can affect dating, there are disadvantages as well. Technology can cause distractions between you and your partner. With the entire internet in your pocket, it can be easy for one to be distracted, but it can bring you closer at the same time. Couples can surf the internet together and bond over similar interests or even discover new information about one another. Social media can be a distraction, but it can also be a form of connection, Dr. Elizabeth Dorance Hall said “Use technology to connect. In obvious ways like calling or texting but in other ways too – comment on their posts online or in person later (let them know you are paying attention to them and care about what they are interested in)” (Hall). Today, a big part of our online presence is our social media profiles and what we choose to put out into the world. By commenting or acknowledging on one another’s posts, it shows you care about them and deepens your connection with your partner. With the use of technology, there is more room for jealousy within relationships, but a good tip to avoid this comes from Dr. Hall: “Integrate the various forms of technology you use so that communication flows from one mode to the next. If there is a certain technology that causes conflict due to miscommunication or jealousy, avoid using that mode to communicate with one another” (Hall). Jealousy and miscommunication can pop up in any relationship, but there are ways to avoid it. It is important to be able to communicate with your partner and clear up any confusions and misunderstandings. With technology, where you can meet face to face without being in the same room, it makes it easier to communicate those worries and feelings. It’s very important to relay those feelings in long term relationships.
Technology has without a doubt changed the dating game, but it has left a positive impact. It has made dating easier, especially for those in a long-distance relationship. There are cons that come with it, but the advantages outweigh them. In a world where technology surrounds us, it is in our power to use it to embrace our lives. For those who are seeking a relationship, you have easy access to available options on a device you use every day. You can start building those connections with a limitless pool of people. Not only has technology improved dating, but it has also opened a new world of dating.
Works Cited
Hall, Elizabeth, “Using Communication Technology to Improve Relationships.” PsychologyToday, Sussex Publishers, 29 August 2018,https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/201808/using-communication-technology-improve-relationships.
Pierce, Dave. “5 Ways Technology Has Positively Impacted the LGBTQ+ Community.” Progress Blogs, 14 June 2021, www.progress.com/blogs/5-ways-technology-has-positively-impacted-the-lgbtq-community.
Proulx, Natalie. “How Do You Think Technology Affects Dating?” The New York Times, 21 Feb. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/02/21/learning/how-do-you-think-technology-affects-dating.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Flearning-student-opinion.
Oh_Kate. “It’s Complicated: The FaceTime Relationship – Oh_kate.” Medium, 9 Apr. 2019, medium.com/@kburce/its-complicated-the-facetime-relationship-a060d5796c03?p=a060d5796c03.