Ariana Valerio

Professor Deiudicibus

English 160-40/ Narrative 1

11 September 2020

          My Worst Experience with a Coach

Have you ever encountered a person who makes you doubt your abilities, your decisions, and your commitments? You feel as if you’ve made the wrong decisions, committed yourself to the wrong hobby, and realize that you might not be as good as you thought you were. While in my sophomore year of high school and being part of my school’s girls’ soccer team, I felt all of these emotions every day.  These emotions felt like heart pain and made me feel embarrassed and like an outsider, however I was able to overcome them! It wasn’t easy but the lessons I learned will help me throughout my life.

It came down to the last minute of the game. It was two defenders verses me the only striker. It was a two to two game and the next goal won. I remember, dribbling through the first defender, doing a stepover move past the second defender, then taking a hard left-footed shot to the bottom corner. The shot was way past the goalie, and went in. We had won, and I scored the winning goal. My teammates ran to me and hugged me tight. At this very moment, I truly fell in love with the sport especially the comradery it created.

I remember being six years old and waking up extra early every Saturday morning, with a huge smile on my face, impatiently and eager to get onto the intramural soccer field. My parents would be mortified as I would dribble down and try to score in my own net.  But I soon got the hang of it as I became more knowledgeable not only of the rules, but also in the technique. Now, I was blowing past defenders and scoring winning goals.

As I grew older, and my skills improved, I joined my town’s pre-travel, and then travel team. I was excited to be part of this team, and continued to work hard to further improve my skills. I showed up to every practice on time, with my cleats tied, and ready to play. I eventually made great friends, and built great connections with my teammates on the field. As the years went by, and I was entering high school, I was excited to join my high school soccer team, make new friends, and join another great team.

My sophomore year I was pulled up to my school’s varsity soccer team. I was given the chance to play with the best players in our school, and against the best players in the county. Words cannot express how excited I was to be able to show my skills, to make new friends, and to be part of a winning team. After all the practicing we were excited to play our first game. As the first game came around, I was anxiously waiting on the bench to get an opportunity to play. I knew I wouldn’t start since I was only a sophomore, but I was hoping to be subbed in and get at least ten minutes on the field.  However, the game started, halftime came, and the game ended, and I sat through it all.  I wondered why I didn’t play and was disappointed.  However, during the bus ride back to school I became hopeful that I would get an opportunity to play in the next game.

As the season continued, games came and went, and my cleats hardly got a chance to touch the field. I played maybe a total of sixty minutes for the whole season. Every time I went on the field, I played with all my heart and demonstrated how skillful I was. I even scored twice!  Despite this my cleats got little to no use.  It was heart-wrenching to see that even the freshman who demonstrated less skill than I had gotten a lot more playing time than me. After every game, I would come home and cry.  I felt angry and humiliated. I wanted to quit the team and regretted all the time I spent at the practices and the games.  I wanted to bury myself under a rock in embarrassment.  I was embarrassed because many of the girls on the teams we competed against consisted of teammates from the travel teams I played in.  I wondered what they were thinking and if they would doubt my skills on the field in the upcoming weekend travel games.  I would spend hours questioning my decision to be part of this team but more interesting questioning my decision to continue to play soccer.  I would make excuses for my coach and think of reasons why she did not let me play.  The only reason that made sense to me was that I must not be as good of a soccer player as I thought I was.  This had to be the obvious reason since I demonstrated to her that I was nice, polite, hardworking, and committed to the team. I would spend many sleepless nights questioning myself and my decision to play soccer.

When the weekend came, and I attended my travel team games, I was worried and insecure. Not playing while being part of a high school team made me less confident.  I began to doubt my soccer abilities and wondered, “Did I really belong on these teams?” It became so evident that my coaches pulled me aside and asked me if everything was okay, since I hadn’t appeared to be myself at recent practices and games. I told them what was happening during my school soccer games, how I hadn’t touched the field for more than five minutes a game, and how embarrassed I was to come to practice. When it came to game day, I felt that I wasn’t good enough to play with them. At this very moment, my trainer told me, “Ari, you are part of the reason why we are currently the #1 team in the New York East Region. You’ve earned your right to be on this field. Don’t let some school varsity coach discourage you from a sport you are so passionate about.”

I took those words of encouragement from my trainer with me for the rest of the season. His words helped me regain my confidence and see where the problem really was.   I accepted that I wasn’t going to see much time on the field during school soccer games but realized that I had to continue to give 100% of myself at every practice. I learned that my commitment and positive attitude spoke more about me and I never gave up.  I also learned to believe in myself and not to let the opinion of one person take my passion for the game I love away.  I no longer felt angry or like an outsider after games.  I learned to laugh and enjoy the company of my teammates on the bench and to be happy for our wins. I realized I truly deserved to have that feeling too.